Today is Sunday. It was a beautiful day after a long week of much needed rain. I had a difficult midterm today and I managed to do well despite having no help from my Professor. Despite school challenges I am determined to finish my last tier of education to obtain my Ph.D.
I am starting to get used to the idea that my parents are gone. Thoughts of aloneness, despair, and depression are turning to fond thoughts of my parents and gratefulness for the tools and guidance that they left me with to navigate through this maze called life. Also, this blog has become my refuge, because I am able to discuss how I feel about grief and how I still have to move forward in life. This blog has been so helpful to me, much more helpful than I could have ever imagined.
Again, the acronym for d.e.a.t.h. that I created stands for Decreasing External Activities That Hinder. I have done that and my life is mellowing out a lot (smile).
In usual Footprints of Death form, I'm going to go through the BAADD (5 stages of grief) process for the day:
Bargaining- Not at all. There is no one to bargain with. God's decision has been made (smile).
Acceptance- Totally accepted the death of my parents.
Anger- Not today, at least no manifestations. The anger I had toward them for leaving me here (earth) is now gone.
Denial- No, just unbelief at times, but I'm excited about the new chapter in my life.
Depression-Continuing to fight my way out and confident that I will win!
So, in my new chapter of life, I intend to laugh, live, and love always and intentionally.
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