Today was a little rainy outside. Nice day though, for a while the sun came out.
I did not pay too much attention to the 5 stages of grief today. I try not to do that because I do not want the grief experience to deal with me unconsciously and manifest itself in other ways in my actions, body (health), or decisions. I want to handle this season consciously. I know for me, if I do not pay attention to my feelings of grief, I will substitute that pain for a happy moment while eating cupcakes, cookies, cakes, and any other delightful desserts that I can make or buy. I am adamant about being present in this season of grief although it would be easier to thrust myself into sweets, work, school, and any of my other activities.
Today, I kept thinking about the acronym I wrote yesterday. I realized today that it had a lot of truth to it.
D - E -A- T - H could stand for DECREASING EXTERNAL ACTIVITIES THAT HINDER.
I think that death does afford me a moment of pause to assess my life, question my own mortality, and decide how I want to live out the dash between the time I was born and the time I die. If I think of death in this way, death (the loss of someone or something) can seem like a blessing or kinda like a school recess when I was a kid. Hmm interesting concept.
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