Today was a better day. I felt some sort of relief. Yesterday, I met with wonderful ladies and we had a very powerful but unexpected conversation about grief. It was great! I explained my feelings to them in regard to the grief I am experiencing over the loss of both of my parents. I told them that for a minute I was not sure if I would make it, as an overwhelming sense of fear and aloneness (my own word, smile) tried to overtake me. I explained to them that I had gotten to the point where I was determined that these feelings of fear would NOT overtake me so I started to pray and quote scriptures from the Bible over myself...and within a few days those intense feelings disappeared.
Like everyone else, I still have to do my daily activities. Daily activities at this point, are just being done in an automatic state because I am taking the time to monitor my emotions so that I can move through this season of grief in a healthy way.
About the sweets, today I had a piece of pie, but no other sweets. I also went to the gym for 40 minutes so I am fine. I just wanted to be honest with myself as I DO NOT want to substitute eating sweets for actually dealing with grief. As I always say, if I don't deal with my grief, I am sure that it will deal with me. I refuse to let feelings of grief manifest in any other ways in my life or make me sick with arthritis or any other disease. NO WAY!!!!
Ok, it's that time again. Time to check in on where I am in the BAADD (5 stages of grief) process.
Bargaining - Not at all the deaths are done. God doesn't make mistakes. Lol!
Acceptance - Totally
Anger - No manifestations, I think I am much better.
Denial - I am not in denial..just very much in unbelief.
Depression - Fighting my way out.......
Remember to laugh, live, and love always.
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