Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Day 20

Footprints of Death...............

Today I was thinking about the things that have happened to me this past week. It has been so weird. I have met several people who are dealing with the recent losses of loved ones. Each of the people said that they have NOT fully grieved the loss of loved one as they are trying to: continue with the activities of life, because they are busy, or because they don't want the people closest to them to know that they are in pain. Amazing. It's amazing how we can hide "grief" and the people closest to us never really know. What does that really say about the people around us? I guess it just says that the people closest to us either don't know how to handle such a serious topic or they are too busy with their own lives to notice. At any rate, this is truly something to ponder.

I hope that I keep dealing with my grief and I encourage everyone who has put off the grief process to come along with me and deal with the feelings that grief causes us to experience. Again, why am I doing this blog? I am doing this blog because I WILL NOT allow grief to deal with me by manifesting itself in other ugly ways (i.e. weight gain, anger, depression,etc). I will deal with grief in a daily and intentional way......AND I WILL WIN!!! How about you (smile)?

As for me, I spent time with a friend today. It was fun! We met today to clean out old things and prepare for new things. I wish him well!!!

Ok, it's time to run through the BAADD (5 stages of grief) process. Here's where I am today.

Bargaining - Not at all.
Acceptance -Totally.
Anger - Not so much...at least no manifestations.
Denial - No, just unbelief that both my parents are gone.
Depression - Fighting my way out!!!!

Remember to laugh, live, and love always.

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