Day 74 -"The Godspot"

Footprints of Death...............

This morning I was a little nervous because I had to perform on a new project and I was concerned about whether or not I would be successful at it. Despite my hesitation and apprehension, the day went well. I was successful at a project that I had never done before. God is always great! Oprah Winfrey says a phrase that I love and believe, "God always dreams a bigger dream for us than we can dream for ourselves." These days when I petition God for something, I ask Him for what I want, then I say, "But do as you will and how you will," in perfect God form he always gives me ABOVE and BEYOND what I have asked of Him. Do you know anyone else like that? I know, me neither. Lol!

Today's victory is one that I would have loved to share with my parents. They were both so supportive of me in everything that I endeavored. I never once heard them say, "You can't do that!" or "That will never work!" They always said pray about it and trust God to help you. Wise words from two very wise people. I love you Mommy and Daddy. In my parents physical absence, God has truly made himself apart of my life. I feel his love everyday, just like I used to feel my parents love. I still feel their love but the physical aspect is gone and sometimes that can be hard to fathom. I know that God is watching me and is with me and His love brings me great comfort, which makes it virtually impossible to continue in the state of grief (huge smile).

There is a place inside of me that no mother, father, sister, brother, friend, or lover can fill. I like to call it the Godspot because He seems to know what I need and when I need it without me speaking a word. I am so grateful, I am so honored that He loves me, and for that I am determined to share His love with others.

Now, it's time to see how I am doing in the BAADD (5 stages of grief) process:

Bargaining - Not at all
Acceptance -Totally, my parents are physically gone.
Anger - Not so much now, no manifestations, except when somone tries to take something from me, especially since I am only 3 months away from losing my Dad. Whew!

Denial -Not at all, just unbelief from time to time.
Depression - I can metaphorically see the breaking of day.

Reference:

Barone, James E. & Ivy, Michael (2004). Resident Hours. The Five Stages of Grief. Journal of the Association of American Medical Colleges 79(5), 379-380.