Yesterday, I was too tired to blog so I went to sleep at 8:30 p.m. I am feeling a sense of belonging lately and I am glad. The grief process at first was making me feel like I did not belong anywhere as both my parents are no longer here. Now, I realize that the "loneliness" emotion was just my realization that the parents who brought me in this world, are not here anymore.
We are two days away from Valentine's Day and that is usually a hard day for me because that is my Mommy's Birthday. She was truly my little love bug. She loved everyone and showed it. I watched her love people so hard that they were afraid that she had an ulterior motive, but she did not, she just wanted to love people. I think she passed that trait on to me because she taught me that there is nothing higher than loving someone despite if they understand love or are able to love you back. My mother was the only person that I know that exemplified "unconditional love" to me. Her love never wavered. I could and I believe that I always can rely on her example of unconditionally love. Because she loved me so perfectly, I am able to share love with others in the same way. Thanks Mom! I am missing you this weekend, but you deserve to rest.
I truly miss my Mommy. She was so spiritually attuned she knew what all of her kids were going through before they even said anything to her. Amazing! I often wonder what advice she would give to me now. I have almost achieved my educational goal, I haven't fully achieved my career goals, I haven't fully achieved my creative goals in terms of music or writing, so I wonder what she would say to me right now. Maybe she will appear to me in my dreams as usual and show me the way.
Happy Valentine's Day to everyone. Celebrate love in a pure way. Love is constant, stable, never-ending, is kind, does not demand it's own way, is not conceited, suffers long, believes all things, endures all things, LOVE NEVER FAILS.
I'll skip the stages of grief for now and come back to them later.
Simply beautiful...
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