Day 120

Footprints of Death...............

I am in constant transition.  Today, I was quiet and I have pulled myself away from things and people as I feel the need to do so.  I was motivated to cultivate new friendships and do new things but I suddenly feel the need to retreat and just be still.  I try to listen to my spiritual side whenever I hear it speak.....so I am being still.  I believe that God has my best interest at heart and he will make His Will for my life clear.  Sorry, I don't know where that came from, but I had to say it.

I am taking things one day at a time.  I am learning to trust God for everything.  I must admit that this is a scary place to be because I am so used to doing things for myself and for others.  It is unusual for me to be the recipient of or in need of help myself.  I despise needing help.  This season of rebuilding after grief has helped me to become more comfortable with understanding that it is o.k. to need and be helped.  So many people have been a great emotional support to me during this time.  The "new" me understands that I had to admit that I needed emotional support.  After I accepted that reality, I accepted the help...and I am glad that I did.   I am just grateful for where I am today emotionally.  I had a mental picture of myself today.  When my Dad passed away 5 months ago I felt like a big open wound.  Today, I saw myself as a wound healing nicely with a scar that's nearly closed.  That picture made me happy.