Today was a great day! I am so amazed by the beauty of the day. I am not sure if I am just noticing the nature scenes that I live around, or if everything is really this beautiful. It's crazy! I am trying to figure out why things are so vividly colorful and alive. Maybe I am noticing everything with fresh eyes because I was TRULY depressed since the passing of my Mommy in 1999 and then I had a heavier episode in 2009 when my Daddy passed, but it seems like for the past 10 years I was living life in a dull fog or haze. I cannot fully explain how I feel but I am simply excited to wake up in the morning. I have always been driven, but this excitement has nothing to do with getting something new or having more money than I can spend in a lifetime (although that would be nice...lol), or driving the latest car. I am just happy for the first time in 10 years for the life that God has given me. Grateful is an inadequate word to explain exactly how I feel.
At any rate, the deep feelings of grief and loss are starting to lessen. Again, another example of God's mercy and grace towards me. I love Jesus! I cannot express how much my relationship with God has helped me through horrific times. Accepting God's son Jesus as my Lord and savior has changed my life. In spite of all my losses, sicknesses, and hardships, I endured all of them because I was in communication with Jesus who kept encouraging me to "HOLD ON."
For anyone reading who feels in their heart of hearts that they are merely sucking in air and existing only to wake up to a new misery the next day, please understand that right now you are not emotionally well. You may be hurting from the death of a loved one. This is the time to fill your spiritual self up. I personally, have found that Jesus fills all voids and heals all wounds. The book of Psalms in the Bible was a great grief comfort for me. I know that He can do the same for you but you have to invite Him in. Tell God exactly how you feel because He hears you and He loves it when we acknowledge and speak to Him. Can you imagine how the people in our lives would feel if we never called them, never told them that we love them, and never ever showed concern or said thank you for the things that they have done and sacrificed for us? Me neither! But yet, we treat the God of the universe in this way. We pay him little attention when he is kind and powerful enough to make the sun to shine by day and the moon by night. He's sooooo amazing!
Well, since tonight is Good Friday I am not going to go through the BAADD process, I will say because Jesus rose on the third day I have hope that I can conquer any circumstance in my life and that includes the deep dark ugly robber called grief. How do I know? Because when Jesus died and rose again he took the keys of death, hell, and the grave from the devil so that you and I could have eternal life and no longer live under the curse of sin. Again, He is truly amazing.
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