Days 477-484

Footprints of Death...............

I am amazed at how I made it through this past week.  This past week was terrible.  I had some challenges and I just wished I could go home to my parents' house and curl up with them in the bed until I felt better.  As the youngest kid in my family or "the baby" I had a lot of alone time with my parents and they just had a way of making me feel loved and whole just by being in their presence.  I needed them this week but having them was not possible because they are no longer living.  This is/was tough!  Grief has a way of rearing its ugly head at the MOST unopportune times, but I am determined to admit my issues and defeat grief.

I better run through the 5 stages of grief for this past week.  Here's my self-made acronym for the 5 stages of grief BAADD:

Bargaining- Not at all, no one to bargain with.
Acceptance- My mind has accepted it but my heart has not.
Anger- Yes, this past week was rough and I was angry that I do not have parents to run home to.
Denial- Not at all
Depression- Perhaps, I simply have no desire to be around other people right now as few understand me or my feelings (yes, i know that this is an illogical over-generalization but I am emoting right now, not trying to think logically).

Despite my feelings, I know that God has me in the palm of His hands.  I feel Him close to me.  Needless to say, I spent much time in prayer this week. Prayers is my best weapon against the stages and effects of grief.