Footprints of Death...............
The holiday season is approaching and this time tends to remind me of what I do not have even though I am grateful for what I have. In this case, the holidays cause me to miss my parents terribly. This is a weird time so I am depending on God to take me through this season. I intend to continue to write on this blog more often during the holiday season just to vent my feelings.
In terms of the BAADD or 5 stages of grief process, I better go over it:
Bargaining- Not at all.
Acceptance- Yes, I have accepted it but my acceptance has yet to give way to approval.
Anger- Not anymore.
Depression- No.
Denial- Not at all but I am still in unbelief.
As always remember to laugh, live, and love always and on purpose.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Days 326-331
Footprints of Death...............
I made it! Yesterday was the one (1) year anniversary since my Daddy's death. I think I handled the day much better than I thought that I would. I felt calm. I felt happy.........and finally I felt that he was able to be at peace. I watched my Daddy suffer through terrible physical and mental illnesses and I am relieved to know that I don't have to worry him being hurt or lost somewhere because of his illness. I have relief that I hope leads to my complete happiness. I used to wonder if I would ever have "complete happiness" now I am adamant that I will continue to pursue happiness. Like all the other things that I have pursued in life, I am sure that I will find it.
Remember to laugh, live, and love always and on purpose because tomorrow is not promised.
I made it! Yesterday was the one (1) year anniversary since my Daddy's death. I think I handled the day much better than I thought that I would. I felt calm. I felt happy.........and finally I felt that he was able to be at peace. I watched my Daddy suffer through terrible physical and mental illnesses and I am relieved to know that I don't have to worry him being hurt or lost somewhere because of his illness. I have relief that I hope leads to my complete happiness. I used to wonder if I would ever have "complete happiness" now I am adamant that I will continue to pursue happiness. Like all the other things that I have pursued in life, I am sure that I will find it.
Remember to laugh, live, and love always and on purpose because tomorrow is not promised.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Days 320-325
Footprints of Death...............
One down one to go. I made it through my Mom's passing anniversary. Next, I am preparing myself for my Dad's one (1 )year death anniversary. This process has not been easy but I am sure that I would not have made it without God's help. It was God who got me through my lowest points and I am eternally grateful.
One down one to go. I made it through my Mom's passing anniversary. Next, I am preparing myself for my Dad's one (1 )year death anniversary. This process has not been easy but I am sure that I would not have made it without God's help. It was God who got me through my lowest points and I am eternally grateful.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Days 315-319-Mommy's Anniversary of Her Passing
Footprints of Death...............
Today is October 30, 2010. I must admit that I was anticipating a weird day as this is the 11 year anniversary of my Mommy's passing. Wow! When I tell you that time has flown, I am very serious. I must admit that I barely remember the first five(5) years after her passing as I was merely existing at that point. My Mommy and I were very close and I could anticipate what she needed before she even asked for something and vice-versa.
Anyway, I chose to be happy today and to focus on fulfilling my life's goals. I chose to use my past hurts and disappointments to propel me to the future that I see every night in my dreams. Sounds good, right? Yea, I know, cause I must admit this "attitude" feels good.
Today is October 30, 2010. I must admit that I was anticipating a weird day as this is the 11 year anniversary of my Mommy's passing. Wow! When I tell you that time has flown, I am very serious. I must admit that I barely remember the first five(5) years after her passing as I was merely existing at that point. My Mommy and I were very close and I could anticipate what she needed before she even asked for something and vice-versa.
Anyway, I chose to be happy today and to focus on fulfilling my life's goals. I chose to use my past hurts and disappointments to propel me to the future that I see every night in my dreams. Sounds good, right? Yea, I know, cause I must admit this "attitude" feels good.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Days 309-314
Footprints of Death...............
I am doing much better. I am starting to feel like myself again. This is the end of October and I will be celebrating my Mom's 11 year death anniversary. Time has flown!!! I kinda feel that a part of me died when she (my Mommy) died because sometimes I find it difficult to care about this life knowing that my Mom has moved on into the next life. I know that's weird to say but it is truly how I feel sometimes. I don't feel my Mom's loss so much these days because I feel her presence. When I am at my lowest points, I feel like she is there. Another weird statement but again this is how I feel. Next month will be even more eventful as it is the 1 year anniversary of my Dad's death. I am feeling a little cynical tonight but I'm o.k.
In terms of the BAADD or 5 stages of grief process, I better run through it:
Bargaining- Not at all.
Acceptance- Yes, I have accepted it but my acceptance has yet to give way to approval.
Anger- Not anymore.
Depression- No.
Denial- Not at all but I am still in unbelief.
As always remember to laugh, live, and love always and on purpose.
I am doing much better. I am starting to feel like myself again. This is the end of October and I will be celebrating my Mom's 11 year death anniversary. Time has flown!!! I kinda feel that a part of me died when she (my Mommy) died because sometimes I find it difficult to care about this life knowing that my Mom has moved on into the next life. I know that's weird to say but it is truly how I feel sometimes. I don't feel my Mom's loss so much these days because I feel her presence. When I am at my lowest points, I feel like she is there. Another weird statement but again this is how I feel. Next month will be even more eventful as it is the 1 year anniversary of my Dad's death. I am feeling a little cynical tonight but I'm o.k.
In terms of the BAADD or 5 stages of grief process, I better run through it:
Bargaining- Not at all.
Acceptance- Yes, I have accepted it but my acceptance has yet to give way to approval.
Anger- Not anymore.
Depression- No.
Denial- Not at all but I am still in unbelief.
As always remember to laugh, live, and love always and on purpose.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
re: Days 304-308
Footprints of Death...............
I am better and I'm getting busy. The grief is starting to subside.
Today the news said that Tom Bosley, who was the father on the hit show "Happy Days" today at age 83. He was an awesome actor who brought my family and I so much joy. My condolences to the Bosley Family.
Remember to laugh, live, and love always and on purpose.
I am better and I'm getting busy. The grief is starting to subside.
Today the news said that Tom Bosley, who was the father on the hit show "Happy Days" today at age 83. He was an awesome actor who brought my family and I so much joy. My condolences to the Bosley Family.
Remember to laugh, live, and love always and on purpose.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Days 300-303
Footprints of Death...............
I'm just checking in. I'm feeling better. I am almost back to my chipper self. I hope that life is treating my family and friends well. I also hope that I do NOT have to deal with death in my inner circle for at least another year. I know I have no control over this, but it can't hurt to ask, right?
I created an acronym for the 5 Stages of Grief (BAADD). Since it has been a while since I checked in on my stages of grief, I better do it now.
Bargaining- Not at all.
Acceptance-Yes, however the losses of three loved ones in a year's time frame still feels surreal.
Anger-Not now.
Depression- No, but I am saddened by their losses.
Denial-Not at all, I am aware of what has happened
Until next time, remember to laugh, live, and love always and on purpose.
I'm just checking in. I'm feeling better. I am almost back to my chipper self. I hope that life is treating my family and friends well. I also hope that I do NOT have to deal with death in my inner circle for at least another year. I know I have no control over this, but it can't hurt to ask, right?
I created an acronym for the 5 Stages of Grief (BAADD). Since it has been a while since I checked in on my stages of grief, I better do it now.
Bargaining- Not at all.
Acceptance-Yes, however the losses of three loved ones in a year's time frame still feels surreal.
Anger-Not now.
Depression- No, but I am saddened by their losses.
Denial-Not at all, I am aware of what has happened
Until next time, remember to laugh, live, and love always and on purpose.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Days 293-299
Footprints of Death...............
Well, I have been taking it one day at a time since the recent losses of my Joy and my Aunt Barbara. I was close with my Aunt Joy however I did not have much of a relationship with Aunt Barbara but I feel her loss just the same. As you all know, I created an acronym for the 5 Stages of Grief (BAADD). Since it has been a while since I checked in on my stages of grief, let's do it now.
Bargaining- Not at all.
Acceptance-Yes, however their losses feel surreal.
Anger-Not now.
Depression- No, but I am saddened by their losses.
Denial-Not at all, I am aware of what has happened.
Well, I have been taking it one day at a time since the recent losses of my Joy and my Aunt Barbara. I was close with my Aunt Joy however I did not have much of a relationship with Aunt Barbara but I feel her loss just the same. As you all know, I created an acronym for the 5 Stages of Grief (BAADD). Since it has been a while since I checked in on my stages of grief, let's do it now.
Bargaining- Not at all.
Acceptance-Yes, however their losses feel surreal.
Anger-Not now.
Depression- No, but I am saddened by their losses.
Denial-Not at all, I am aware of what has happened.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Monday, October 4, 2010
Days 286-292
Footprints of Death...............
Interesting time.... I am dealing with the compounded grief of losing two aunts (one from each side of my family) in the month of September 2010.
I'm not feeling much like checking in on the 5 stages of grief or BAADD process, but I will check in next time.
Enjoy and appreciate life today because tomorrow is not promised.
Interesting time.... I am dealing with the compounded grief of losing two aunts (one from each side of my family) in the month of September 2010.
I'm not feeling much like checking in on the 5 stages of grief or BAADD process, but I will check in next time.
Enjoy and appreciate life today because tomorrow is not promised.
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